Peanut butter VS Strawberry jam

I had a dream..

The scene of a supermarket started to take shape.. I found myself in between a lane where I'm supposed to purchase a jam back home..

Two different kinds of jam caught my attention- peanut butter and strawberry jam.

The peanut butter has an attractive packaging and its suits my tastebuds. But it has already been reserved in advance and its the only bottle left..

The strawberry jam has an average packaging. But it leaves an aftertaste in the tongue, something which I do not like ..

At this moment, I woke up from the dream still trapped in the situation..

From the outsiders' point of view, it may seem like there are 2 choices. So what is the problem then? It must be this person is picky..

But... it is not about picky... it is about choosing something that I can align to.. In actual fact, the 2 options only mean no options.. If you think deeper, you will understand what I mean...

In life, it is like this as well.. perhaps much more complicated as well. Once awaken, everything will be like a dream..

SImple Lifestyle..Simple thinking...

I'm not feeling the best at this moment..rather down actually...

Why can't humans just be simple in their thinking and thus having a simple lifestyle? At least, what i need is really simple.. I just need food to eat, water to drink and minimum money to go on living..

Why do people have to think and consider so much? I yearn for the childhood days when everyone in simple in their thinking..no politics, no backstabbing..

I admit I can be rather simple in my thinking..I dun see beyond..What's to gain in a guessing game?Speechless and staring blankly at the screen...

well, i guess i should go and sort out my thoughts..

Heart vs Brain

I've always been interested in doing personality tests since I was introduced to it durin JC1 by my dear GP teacher, Mr Tong. It gave me a rough idea of what personality I belonged and how I could change myself to a better person..

Since then, I have done a total of at least 5 or more similar tests, the DISC..I'm sure most of you would be familiar especially Swappies..

For a rough summary, the D represents people who are task orientated and dormaint. The I represents people who are influential and expressive. The S represents people who are relationship based and towards harmonious life. As for the C, it represents people who are analytical, critical.

Each time, i do it, there are positive changes to it.. I used to be a I, D person then rather low in the S and C.. But as time passes, the I still remains the dormaint with the D and the S becoming much more balance. However the C is still low as usual..

For those who know me well or observant like Zenon, they can tell immediately that I'm not a C person.. I'm just not cut out to be one no matter how I tried..at least the S I did try to improve to make myself more balanced..

I'm a rather intutive person..I followed my heart most of the time. Of course, the brain is there but somehow I'm just not a very logical person.. I'm rational thanks to Buddhism but sometimes the rationality causes me to have inner struggles..

Its not easy to have 2 camps in a body both insisting on their view point. Imagine 2 people talking into your left and right ear at the same time. Yah, you get the picture..

Well, its always good to rope in help and advice from buddies.. Usually, its Charles and Delphine then followed by my Jie Mei Tuan and etc... By the time Charles and Delphine say their piece, I will have known my direction.

Or rather, I already have a rough idea what I going to do. But just needed to see if its proper and agreeable by others.. Of course, I do insist on my views too and not just followed blindly..

These few weeks gonna be busy.. I do hope that my brain and heart do co operate and help me along.. Pls have your internal conflicts after all the camps and stuff have finished...

The kitten, Xiao Guan Ming at PKS is having a rough time.. Not sure if its gonna make it alive until mon.. I will be praying for you...

May Xiao Guan Ming be strong and live a healthy life..

The impressions that I give people...

Everyone forms impressions on the surrounding environment, people and issues that they deal with in a spilt second. Its like a piece of clay being mounded to a certain shape.. I'm a visual person thus i form impressions based on my observations and interactions with people..

Probably thats why I like to interact with people of all levels and co ordinate events with youth ministry... Its rather fascinating to learn about the different categories of people existing..

Personally, I used to be conscious of the impressions that I gave people. That was during the time when I was less confident. Of course, I still am concerned over the impressions i gave people.

Through people's eyes, i see what their perceptions of me.. Its usually the below.. " bubbly, sociable, reliable, independent, capable, positive etc.." The above are true to a certain extent but there is also a inner side of me that is less seen.. Only a few people who know me really deep will understand it.

Being positive, cheery and bubbly does not mean that I do not have emotions. Like every gal, I have my insecurities and times that I need assurances. The difference is that I do not show it.

Like every gal, there is always this fantasy about wedding gowns and stuff.. Its the society that has shaped our minds to be such. For me, I still have emotions.. Even though I did think about going for nunhood, I know I'm not ready for it.

I do fall in love with people..been there done that. There are happy moments as well as sad moments. I do not fall for people easily but if that someone happen to has all the qualities that I'm looking for, i can fall deep inside the whirlpool.. Being a Buddhist also means that as a practioner in the Dharma, Buddhistic families can be formed to spread Buddhism.. This is what i aspire to establish if i get hitched.. Otherwise, singlehood is also an option just like Dr Kenneth Tan. He is a eligible bachelor, a doctor who stays single as his choice..

This is an area that I do not think I can ever finish writing.. Because I'm changing, people are changing and hence the impressions change too...

May everyone leave good impressions on everyone..and stay positive in life..

3rd parties.. who has the right to judge?

A relationship may break out due to a 3rd party...that is what some people claim..

But stop and think, if this relationship is strong as steel and without gaps, how can a 3rd party have any chance to break inside?

It takes 2 hands to clap. A relationship needs both parties to keep it going. If it fails, it is not the fault of the 3rd party. Neither is it the fault of both parties. Its simply that the conditions have changed..

3rd parties have always been given a dirty look by outsiders. But anyone ever wondered if these people are willing? The answer is no. Who will wish to be a 3rd party and accept the disdain cast upon them by others?

Of course, there is a minority who has a ulterior motive as a 3rd party.. This is however not included here.. Innocent 3rd parties should be given a chance to explain themselves.. But well, this world is not that just...

The best advice is thus to avoid being caught in such a situation as a 3rd party..may everyone be free from such situations..

Frustration

Life is moving at an amazingly rapid rate in today's world.. With speed, the stress will increase naturally.. Its like a pressure cooker..

The stress that people are experiencing will bring about frustration.. I get this virus when I am being overloaded and I cannot finish them according to my time schedule..

Perhaps lately things have been happening in my life... I find myself getting caught by this virus a couple of times.. Everything is in the mind.. When will i ever see the truth?

I know that I will learn with each single day in my life..That is my aim..Not to waste the precious moments in this human life..

Treasuring people...

Human beings are strange creatures.. They never realise how fortunate they are until misfortunates strike. Being forgetful is also one of the trademarks of these creatures..

Taking things around them for granted is also featured prominently in their life.. I am a human being and I'm guilty of the above as well..

During school term, i used to take for granted that I will always be seeing my Jie Mei Tuan.. Perhaps its because everyone has grown closer this semester because of the numerous projects.. I actually missed them during the holidays..

I was so happy to have a gathering with them..I realised then how closely we have bonded as a group. Its rare to have a clique of 9 gals coming together so closely.

Thank you gals for providing me listening ear, wonderful advice and just ur presence makes everything wonderful..

Foundation level as Friends..

A solid foundation is important for a building...it ensures that the building will not collapse in the long run..at least not within 99 years under the HDB...

Dealing with relationships be it family, friends or lovers, its the same too.. There is a need to have a stable level before higher levels can be built upon.

Before the parties reveal their inner self, its always the being polite and diplomatic surface. Then slowly, the real self will appear. There are exceptions however. Some people prefer to be their true nature letting most of their inner thoughts reveal bu not entirely..

Only when the foundation is strong, the parties can proceed to become close friends then gradually lovers likewise for family as well.. Lovers are the best of friends as they can consult in each other.. Its a tedious process but its worth the try to truly understanding a person...

There are so many diverse personalities due to the past and present deeds we have done. The environments that we are being brought in play a major role in shaping the character and behaviour too..

Take the effort to understand a person well and you are bound to learn something from it...

Talented people vs non- talented people..

Well, there is no such thing as non talented people.. this is to give those who feel they are untalent a morale boost..

Talent comprises probably around 10% and the other 90% is hard work.. Ask any successful talented people, they will tell you how much effort and time they have put in to achieve their current status...

Everyone has their own talent.. just that the time may not ripen yet for this talent to be known by thyself.. In most aspects, talent will fall under the arts category like music, dance, drama etc..

However, being able to organise events, managing people is also a form of talent. I know that my talent lies in organising events, networking. I love doing that kind of work as it allows me to reach out to all kinds of people..or rather weird human beings...

Frustration and joy are part of the deal.. sometimes I know i can do it but I just refuse to do... due to reasons like laziness or tiredness.. Well, its always good to know where one's strengths and talents are.. Most importantly, you will be happy when doing that particular thing...

It takes time for talent to be discovered, just like it takes time to polish a precious stone into a diamond..

Power of anger..

Most people get angry once in a while..unless you are enlightened like Buddha and see the true nature of the universe..

The power of angry is astonishing.. It has hands like creepers that just keep extending as long as there is something to feed it..

Meditation has allowed me to be more mild tempered but there are still occasions when I do get really angry, irritated, annoyed and pissed...

Anger causes all evil thoughts to arise and even ways to get even at the person... this is regardless of the relationship of the person to you.. it also kills thousands of cells and cause the heart to beat... In short, it is harmful to health and the mind..

If so, why do people still get angry?

Alas, people still do not see the nature of things. The rise and fall of all phenonmenon is impermanent. The only thing that does not change is change itself..

Beautiful People

Ever wondered why women like to bitch about other beautiful people regardless of gender?

Its because they are filled with craving.. even the most beautiful woman can still bitch about her looks...Humans can never be satisfied with the current state. The fire of craving is always there.. wanting more and better quality...

I'm confident and satisfied with the way I look and talk.. but well.. if I can change, I will want to have a sharper face.. See the irony?

A lot of us are caught in such a situation, claiming to be satisfied yet not so.. Being satisfied and happy means there isn't any if..

For now, I do not want to change any part of me at least on the skin level.. because changing it will mean changing the real me..

People like me for who I am.. if i change, what is the point then?

Everyone is beautiful because we are unique... No matter how alike two people are, they can never be exactly the same.

Start with loving yourself before extending this love to people and the world around you..

Being missed...

I always took for granted my existence on earth.. sometimes i just wonder how big an impact I can create if I just vanished from the surface of the earth...

The realisation hits me when both Charles & Delphine told me that they missed my existence... Delphine even told msn without me was boring.. etc.. We had been good buddies for a long time that sometimes we forgot that we would not always be there for each other.. Charles likewise told me something similar...

I figured that if someone like me could be missed, everyone would be missed by some other person as well... thus we should all treasure ourselves and never think about hurting ourselves..

This world works on a dependency cycle.. everything is interdependent on each other... by bringing harm to yourself, you are harming others... by harming others, you are harming yourself as well.. What goes around comes back to you... pass it on only the good deeds...

Together, we can all make this world a wonderful place to stay in. A place with compassion and love...

Soul mates or perhaps twins?

The mind is a powerful and amazing tool of the human race.. Now and then, there will be articles & books on how people can connect through minds either by telepathy or some other forms... I never doubt its validity though sometimes if I can experience it as well..

Perhaps when you are reading the below experience, you will dismiss it.. but it doesn't matter..

Charles and I are very close buddies.. Our minds are connected such that sometimes we can read each other thoughts and even feel the emotions that is whirling through..

At the meditation retreat on the 4th day, his image suddenly popped up midway during my meditation.. No matter how much I tried to focus, i can feel that something positive is happening to him .. Its a kind of feeling that is hard to pen it down...

I contacted him once I got out of retreat.. and the most amazing thing happened.. He told me that yes something did happen on the 4th day... and that he was hoping to discuss with me.. I was amazed at how the thoughts were transmitted to me across the causeway..

We discussed over this issue.. and came to the conclusion that we may have been siblings or twins in our previous lives.... Soulmates? perhaps..

It sounded like a tall tale...but its true because i experienced it myself.. I will have doubted it if someone told me... This further enforced the fact that our mind is able to do lots of wonders just that it has not been explored to its fullest potential yet... Buddha must have realised this when he gained enlightenment..

Giving the mind a facial treatment..

We cleanse our body head to toe daily using the best shampoo, bathing foam and facial foam.. the main purpose is to make sure that we stay clean..

We exercise, go on vegetarian diets to ensure a healthy body to cope with the stressful pace of the world..

Alas, the mind is often forgotten... it is filled with dust, dirt and bacteria...

I take time off to cleanse the mind by going off for retreats or detox sessions... meaning I allow my mind to breath and relax...

Imagine not bathing for days.... this is what the mind feels like...

The retreat has given me a new found inner peace.. the real retreat place lies within us not elsewhere...

We need to learn to find within our mind a place to retreat...