Loving Children Vs Having Children

Recently, been hearing from almost everywhere "so & so getting married".. Geez.. some of them around my age, some older by 4 years.. wonder if its their biological clock ticking? Hence the tying the knot phase..

Well, according to studies, tying the knot is a phase in human life.. the main aim is of course to reproduce heir.. apparently the so call love that seems to exist between both parties are also part of the instinct due to reproduction alarm clocks ringing away..

I wonder if its within my circle of friends or if its a common phenonmenon that guys these days want to have kids as much as gals do.. the tables seem to have turned the other way around..

The Life! featured a writeup on how a columnist looked at kids lovingly now instead of seeing them as pests..then Brad Pitt also apparently left Jennifer with the same issue..

Apart from celebrities, my guy friends also told me same thing as well.. I was like " are you kidding me?" The answer is a NO.. then the reasons of " I love kids", " its not complete without kids" etc come running out..

This is a huge issue.. though my family side have quite a number of children running around..I still don't see it as a norm to have kids.. my cousins and I have quite a handful of experience from all the nieces and nephews running around..(we had to babysit during new year, traffic control their movements)

But there is a difference between loving children and having children, worlds apart yah? Loving children doesn't involve responsibility and committment whereas having children does.. if I go on, its going to be an essay.. but that is the idea..

The last time a guy told me he wanted kids definitely, he was dropped from my list.. this kind of issue, there should be a freedom of choice. At least the other party can have breathing space..

Hence, my conclusion is its important to know the other party's expectations even before stepping into a relationship. If not, its going to be tough if both parties are not going to compromise. By then, the separation will hurt both parties to the core..

For me, I am still on the fence. There is no definite answer.. It depends on lots of factors in life. Well, for the moment I am still a bit leaning towards the tendency of not having children..
But who knows what the future lies ahead? Afterall I still have time to think about it..

What truly matters is treasuring the moment..

Mid Autumn Festival.. Comes & Goes..

When I was a kid, I used to recall the fun times I had during Mid Autumn Festival.. Playing with friends with sparklers at the playground, burning some poor lanterns..

One of my most memorable times was when I participated in a Fancy Dress Contest.. Geez, wonder why I ever had the courage to do it.. I still remember vividly I dressed up as a tribal gal doing a short 3 minute dance on stage..

A few days before the contest, I fell sick.. thankfully I recovered in time.. With all the thanks to my cousin and my mum who dress me up for the contest.. Ultimately, I didn't win but had an experience that i remember even until now..

These days, Mid Autumn seems to be less of a hip thing. It seems to be something of the past.. Its amazingly I could go to so many places for celebrations yet I chose none..

Really wanted to go for NUSBS celebration but wasn't feeling well.. In the end, I was mopping around with a sad face..

Supposed to have a celebration with another group of buddies.. Poor gal, ZY was trying to co-ordinate.. Both of us were so looking forward to that dat.. In the end, results as expected..

The celebration did not pull through.. 3 of them went to learn diving, the rest either not available or not interested.. Well, what's new? Both of us have already gotten used by now.. What's the point of trying to organising an event when people do not even appreciate it or do not even attempt to turn up? Is it for our own satisfaction or is it for everyone's happiness that someone has to do the organising stuff?

Beats me.. Mayb I will know the answer someday.. But at least I know such a situation exists.. Well, humans are always selfish..Friends have always told this to me.. But is it the TRUTH?
If its the truth, then what about Buddha, Jesus, Sangha community and the churches community? What is their purpose for existence? Aren't they there to help mankind to attain a higher state of mind? Or are they part of a bigger conspiracy?

Well.. who knows.. But i guess, what is important is one's mind is clear on what one's right views are..

Sigh.. Mid Autumn Festival.. comes & goes..

Slight phobia i guess..

Happened to be caught in a situation on the bus that day.. shan't elaborate my situation.
The protagonist in this case was a 17/18 yrs old kid..

His actions left me pissed and sad.. What a strange combination of feelings right? If you know what I'm referring to, you will understand why..

My heartfelt thanks to all those who lend me their ears, eyes for me.. Without all of you, I do not know what will happen.

However, no matter how strong I am, somehow the incident left a scar on me..
At this moment, I have a slight phobia.. but I know I will and I can overcome it

Its jus those almost cases yet I already felt this way. What about those who are really in the situation? My heart goes all out to them..

I pray for them to be strong and overcome this kind of obstacles.. Its our right to voice, point them out.. for the betterment of mankind..

All talk but no action..

Somehow, I been involved in a number of events that required volunteers, the nature of it being a fund raising event for a non profit organisation or for the cause of buddhism..

Its not easy to recruit volunteers from friends.. I'm always amazed by how small the number of volunteers is from my large network of friends.. There will always have this group of people who said they want to do volunteer work but when the occasion arises.. suddenly they are not free..

Another group of people is those that totally just ignored whatever pleas, sms or emails that are been sent out.. These people do not even bother to reply, they simply dump it aside because it doesn't concern them..

Of course, there is always hope in this world. There is also this group of people who are always ready to help out. They are the regulars, they help because they really want to do their part for the society..

Even though Buddhism has one of the parmitas on dana, I'm always amazed that my circle of friends who are buddhist are actually those who seldom helped out. Giving them the benefit of doubt, they are always busy..

Those who helped me come from all works of life.. those that I perceived as probably not interested are actually those who suprises me constantly..

I'm not blaming nor complaining.. But simply, my observation of those within my network.. Well, I still believe there is loving kindness and compassion in this world.. My attempt at asking you to volunteer is my way of allowing you to contribute to society as well.

When we think we are helping the society by volunteering, the society is also helping us back..
~ Sixth sense~ When Bruce was helping the little boy to understand himself, the boy was also helping Bruce to realise the truth..

Think about it..

Millions of thoughts on the run..

At this moment, I have lots of thoughts running around in my brain.. shall just pen down whatever I have then..

Seeing the numerous bungalows somehow made me wondered what its like to be living in there, the rich lifestyle.. the land area and surroundings were simply wow..

These days, the time jus wooshed back.. I don't have the time to track what's going on. I'm spending more time on the computer doing projects and less time on MSN. Amazingly, I have started on my readings too..

Some people jus have to whine and complain.. like how hot the weather is, can faster go air-con this & that..sometimes, I just cannot be bothered to reply.. but well human beings jus have a flair for complaining..

Complaining is bad but whining is worse.. it comes with an irritating accent that makes me feel like leaving the place to get some peace. Unfortunately, I happen to have friends who whine.. Jus got to bear with it and hopefully I will gain some patience..

Been doing quite a lot of catching up with Charles lately but well never get tired of him though.. Its been nice, like meeting up with a brother..a dear buddy..

Friendships belong to a dynamic category.. they do not stay stagnant even when it looks calm on the surface. Once damage is done, it either heals back really slowly or it never does or it leaves a scar behind..

Spiritual friends are hard to find.. I guess the path to buddhahood can sometimes be in groups or alone. I appreciate the peace though.. One person come, one person go..

There is another circle of friends that I neglected.. My buddhist class at TMBS.. The numerous gatherings that had been organised always seem to clash with my schedule.. About time I get some gelling with the class. Jus realised like almost everyone seems to have a sense of belonging to the class, society except me..

Perceptions..maybe it has something to do with myself, perceptions.. Since everything is socially constructed, there is still hope for me..

Heal the world , make it a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race.. This song always touches my heart everytime I hear it.. Perhaps its the words, the sincerity of the voice..

But I know I believe in the sentence and I will do everything within my means to benefit the world.. Faith..Confidence.. Love..