Thursday, August 31, 2006

Perhaps it's time to let go and move on?

Title: Perhaps It's Time To Let Go and Move On?

Uncertainty is part and parcel of life.. We have to face it whether we like it or do not like it..

For some cases, answers are easily found while for others, it is in the grey area of neither yes nor no..

Uncertainty is tiring when the hand holds tightly to the present state and refuses to let go..
Even by holding onto a feather for 30 minutes, it will be come tiring..

If it's tangible things that are being held, there is no problem in discarding it away..
But if it's intangible like feelings, how do you let it go and move on?

Saying it is always easy.. doing it is never easy..
I ponder and wonder admist whatever little time I have in my tight schedule..

Perhaps the faith is not strong enough anymore.. I do not see any light at the end of the tunnel..
Well.. perhaps perhaps it is time to let go and move on..

Only then, I will spread my wings and regain my freedom..

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Work Frustrations

Title: Work Frustrations

Nothing is perfect, even the most ideal job can have work frustrations..

My job is almost perfect but I too have frustrations lately..

If not for the incompetent authorities, I was actually way ahead of my preparations for the event..

All thanks to them, the event is postponed and all my collaterals have to be reprinted..

It's not just financial loss but also time loss..

To make matters even more exciting, my boss was away in la la land hence everything was settled by me alone..

Though the big boss was here, he didn't help much as he wasn't involved in the entire planning of event..

So the ball is pretty much thrown back to me alone.. All she had to do was just to sms me and remind me this and that but well.. everything I do..

Effectively, it is a one woman show by me.. I know I can do it even when there are times when I just feel like surrendering..

I have always been a fighter.. each obstacle I encounter I will cross it.. If it's time issue, then I will double my speed and make sure it is being covered..

Perhaps it is this belief in my own capability that I have been working at amazing speeds that suprise even myself..

These 2 days, I have almost covered all emergency areas.. about 80% is dealt with.. finally received news that my boss will be back earlier than expected..

But well.. it is good news no doubt.. for me to take a breather..
If there is no recognition, I will leave and hunt for a better place..

For after this event, I am even more assured that I can run any event even if alone..
I have been made stronger and suddenly I realised my working style has become more similar to Cell..

No wonder I unwind the same way as he does.. because the pressure is there to excel.. to make things look good..

For now, I have done enough to pat myself on the shoulder to say" Well done!"
Thanks to Chingwi, Cell and other close friends for listening to my sms, msn etc...
The support rendered was very much appreciated by me.. =)

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Title: Compilation of Meaningful Songs

Title: Compilation of Meaningful Songs

Listening to 933FM bring me back some memories of those nice meaningful songs that leave a warm feeling in my heart..

Some of these songs have accompanied me through my life experiences.. A certain song may represent a certain person, event or simply it reflects my thoughts..

I used to think I will be a song composer someday.. But language not powerful enough.. I will be contented with admiring others' works though..

Enjoy the lyrics..

1. 对不起我爱你
没别的 只想说对不起 对不起 我真的爱你
不管你会怎么想 你怎么说 也不会改变我的决定
你知道 有时候感情事很难说 很难说 爱人或朋友
从前到现在 我真的感觉要 一想你 我的心就发烧
想给你听我的心跳 想你知道我睡的不好
喝水想着你 搭车想着你 阖眼闭眼间 出现的全是你
我猜不到你的表情 我等不到你的回应
不想难为你 又不想放弃你 决定告诉你 对不起对不起 我爱你
没别的 只想说对不起 怎么样 我都会珍惜
不管你会怎么讲 你怎么做 也不会影响我的心情
你知道 有时候男孩更难捉摸 难捉摸 爱人或朋友
现在到永远 我真会感觉要 一想你 我的心就狂跳
我的模样记不记的牢 情人卡有没有收到
读书想着你 听歌想着你 大地和蓝天 出现的全是你
我才不管你的表情 我才不理你回不回应
不想难为你 又不想放弃你 决定告诉你 对不起对不起 我爱你
你听一听我的心跳 你看一看我睡的不好
喝水想着你 搭车想着你 阖眼闭眼间 出现的全是你
我猜不到你的表情 我等不到你的回应
不想难为你 又不想放弃你 决定告诉你 对不起对不起 我爱你

2. 勇气
终于做了这个决定 别人怎么说我不理
只要你也一样的肯定我愿意天涯海角都随你去
我知道一切不容易我的心一直温习说服自己
最怕你忽然说要放弃爱真的需要勇气
来面对流言蜚语只要你一个眼神肯定
我爱你的意义(我的爱就有意义)我们都需要勇气
去相信会在一起 人潮拥挤我能感觉你放在我手心
你的真心如果我的坚强任性
会不小心伤害了你你能不能温柔提醒
我虽然心太急 更害怕错过你

3. 学会
几片落叶 孤单的很绝对 九月的风 让心很累
我走过分手那天的街尾 纪念我深深爱过的人是谁
爱像指纹印在心里 真的很美 应该忘了你
可是我学不会 别再问我那一天才能学会 我要的世界
你不能给 有些爱情会给时间一些香味
它迟了一点却把我的心 灌醉 谁看见我流过了几次眼泪
它滴在心里 让我学会 每段故事都有关于它的收尾
它偶尔可以提醒我自己 不能退
回忆让季节拿走他的颜色 走着走着 你就会忘记我

4. 叶子
叶子 是不会飞翔的翅膀
翅膀 是落在天上的叶子
天堂 原来应该不是妄想
只是我早已经遗忘
当初惀怎么开始飞翔
孤单 是一个人的狂欢
狂欢 是一群人的孤单
爱情 原来的开始是陪伴
但我也渐渐地遗忘
当时是怎样有人陪伴

我一个人吃饭 旅行 到处 走走停停
也一个人看书 写信 自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你

5. 我等你
不做考虑也没半点犹豫
我就说了这一句 我等你
你眼中闪过了一些讶异
更多的是怀疑 所以你可以离去

不相信你还会回心转意
是我任性才决定 要等你
我眼中的泪没掉过一滴
只是随你背影 慢慢倒流进心里(心底)

我等你 半年为期
逾期就狠狠把你忘记
不只伤心的 还包括一切甜蜜
(你应该已经和她公开在一起)
要等你 要证明自己
我可以纵容你在心底
也可以当你只是路过的人而已
爱到痛之极 才需要一段等你的限期 来遗忘自己

Friday, August 18, 2006

Back to Square 1

Title: Back to Square 1

Maybe it is still back to Square 1? Or is it I want things to go back to Square 1? Or rather things are still at Square 1?

There are thousands and millions of possibilities.. Maybe slightly exaggerated but you get the point..

This eeky feeling that exists is just irritating.. like a thorn in the flesh that cannot be pulled out..

Perhaps, I should let the river flow down and let things return back to square 1..
That will be better for all ..

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Dare to love, dare to hate!

Title: Dare to Love, Dare to Hate?

I always envy when I see people who dare to love, dare to hate.. That kind of freedom that I desire yet lacking the courage to pursue from within..

What do I gain and what do I lose?
Nothing.. Everything will just be back to square 1, that's all..
Or perhaps it's inert as part of the characteristics..
************************************************************************************
You're genuinely interested in and concerned for your fellow humans, and you have a strong need to make some kind of contribution to make the world a better place. Relating to a single individual, however - especially when it involves strong emotions - can be a bit trickier. Aquarius is concerned with ideals, and the ideals of love and equality are among many constantly formulated in your innovative, forward-looking mind. Aquarius is also, broadly, about science and knowledge, invention and discovery. The noblest of human visions are spun from this last of the airy signs. But your ideals are often ahead of their time, and collide head-on with the reality of human nature.

Without an ideal, no progress of any kind can take place. But the anchoring of an ideal takes time, flexibility, and sensitivity to the limitations of the human heart. Despite your keen intelligence, you aren't overly gifted in any of these things. You're usually impatient, and want to see the ideal made flesh this minute. You're a great lover of truth, but not, if the truth be known, very flexible. And you sometimes show astonishingly little understanding of, or patience with, the fluid depths of the human heart - most particularly your own.

You're the true democrat of the zodiac. One of your most attractive qualities is your sense of fairness and integrity. You've got a finely honed conscience and a horror of being what you call "selfish". That's noble, but not always psychologically healthy. Regardless of your personal likes and dislikes, your dedication to your beliefs is unshakeable.

Sometimes that courageous fixity of ideals can become stubborn fanaticism, whether scientific, political or spiritual. Political correctness can only have been invented by an Aquarian, because it's a paradigm of this sign's noble intentions coupled with complete intolerance of individual human emotional needs and differences.

The subtleties of human relationships can pose a big problem to you, because emotional conflicts can't be solved by logic and high ideals alone. Aquarians are often embarrassed by emotions, and find them distasteful both in themselves and in others. You're proud and self-controlled, and displays of emotion are seen as a weakness. That doesn't mean you're unfeeling. Far from it. You have an immense capacity for devotion and loyalty. But in the end, logic, self-control and idealism usually win, and that can mean ruthless suppression of, or dissociation from, unpleasant emotions like jealousy, aggression, neediness and anger.

Aquarians often have a gift for analysis of the human temperament, and many reach prominence in the psychological field. Everything about human motivation is clear and obvious to your penetrating, concise mind. And there is often a wonderful capacity to understand and feel detached compassion for even the most frightful behaviour in others. This is why you can talk to all kinds of people from every walk of life, and find something interesting and worthwhile in all of them.

The trouble is, the closer the relationship, the harder it gets for you to express personal feelings. You know what you think you feel, what you think you ought to feel, what you think you should and shouldn't feel, and what you think others think about what you think you feel...Well, it can all get very fraught in the sphere of intimate relations. You're capable of sacrificing your life for a loved one, yet you can forget to say, "I love you". A partner's need for flattery, sentimental displays of affection, and emotional and sexual reassurance may entirely elude your brilliant but often blind intellect.

Some zodiacal signs have a knack with personal relating, and others don't. You Aquarians have more difficulty than any other sign here, because you often have so little real appreciation of the personal - including your own person. But that's easy to remedy. Just take that marvellous, genuine love of humanity and extend it to include your own very human self.

************************************************************************************
This short abstract is freakingly true.. especially expressing the personal feelings.. Darn true.. Maybe I am a robert that is lacking of one chip that indicates " Feelings"..

I can be so unfeeling at times that I hurt others accidentally.. Dare to love, dare to hate? I wish..

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

My Gut Feel

Title: My Gut Feel

How accurate is our gut feel? Well.. I am not sure for you or anyone else.. But for mine, my gut feel has always been right..

Had a discussion with Wee Kwang to realise that certain people may not be connected to their gut feel and hence may not be so accurate afterall..

That was an interesting insight! I always thought everyone has an inner voice to guide them along..

So should I listen to my gut feel once again? Or should I just rationalise things and let the brain take over?

Was reading my past blog and realise how I have grown from my past entries to my current entries..

If you like to take a look, my past website is www.xanga.com/sabrinaturally

Well.. guess I will end it here.. not much inspiration to blog today..

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Blossoming of friendship

Title: Blossoming of friendship

How does friendship develop between 2 strangers? It usually starts off with a smile, a "hi" and then some superficial topics..

Then what? You asked..

Well, it depends on how both parties want to go about it or how the circumstances develop..

My friendship with Dana did not blossom immediately but gradually..

Thinking back, I thank Tigger and siblings for bringing me and Dana closer.. Because we both loved and took care of the kittens, there was a common interest..

I remembered how my tears fell continuously and my body shook tremendously.. when I re-entered into the office where the kittens took their last breath.. Dana was there to console me, hugged me and cried with me for the kittens..

We felt like the mothers of the kittens when they opened their eyes to take the 1st sight of the world.. We cleaned their poo, pee and fed them.. It was a heartbreaking experience for both of us..

But because of this, we bonded..

Soon, this dear friend of mine will be leaving to the States for her Masters.. I know I will miss her aura of calmness, wittyness and everything else.. But I also know this friendship of ours will cement because of the firm foundation that we had..

This friendship will surely get better as time passes.. just like how wine always taste better the longer time passes..

What's holding you back?

Title: What's holding you back?

The rabbit and tortoise were competing to see who would reach the finishing line first.. Halfway through, they decided to accompany each other to the end point instead of being competitors..

The journey seemed to take ages but eventually they were left with the last 200 m left.. The rabbit urged the tortoise to hurry.. But as the distance grew shorter, the tortoise moved even slower..

" What's holding you back? We are reaching the end soon, let's try to do this together yah!" The tortoise hesitated but nodded its head slowly.. The rabbit attempted to probe further but failed..

It was near the line.. The rabbit crossed the line.. but the tortoise refused to step over.. neither did it attempt to say any explaination.. It merely looked at the rabbit with pondering eyes..

The rabbit was filled with question marks all over in the brain.. but she knew when the time was right, the questions would be answered..

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Travelling Alone

Title: Travelling Alone

It has always been my wish and dream to travel alone and roam around the world.. but well I understand that it is not safe for a gal to travel alone..

But finally I got the chance to travel alone to Msia at least and meet up with my boss, KL and JKT counterparts..

Being the representative from Singapore " Hi, I am from Spore Starlight" , living in an apartment with models that I do not really get to interact was quite an experience..

The 1st night, I missed home.. missed my friends.. because I felt really alone and abit fearful of what was in front of me.. At that moment, I realised how overseas students felt..

After the 1st day, I began to adapt and got used to it, crapping with my JKT counterpart and learning stuff from KL counterpart..

Learnt to be street smart more and also more independent than ever.. Though I was supposed to be there to just look and see, there were times when I am expected to take care of things..

Considering that in a foreign country with some language barrier (mainly cantonese), it wasn't easy.. But i also realised the key to overcoming was to ask questions when unsure and also being sincere in getting people to help..

Travelling to work is tiring but fulfilling in a way.. I got to experience the different culture and the people as well.. Travelling alone is also fun in the sense that everything I see it with more caution and more observant..

Do hope that someday I will have a chance to meet up with the KL team.. Great people!! Thanks for the wonderful memories especially that pair of eyes! =)