Spiritual me..

There's a spiritual side of me that certain people see.. at times, I'm in confusion to define what kind of personality do I belong..

To define me as a spiritual person, it will bring great injustice to others who are indeed spiritual. To categorise me as fun loving and playful, I'm not such at all times either..

Perhaps, I'm a changing butterfly..唯一不变的是变.. Change is the only certainty in life..

There isn't any right or wrong about this.. its just a reflection upon myself after coming back from Venerable Mahinda's metta retreat..

Metta means loving kindness. In other words, this retreat is about spreading the loving kindness starting from yourself and expanding to the whole universe etc. I have been looking forward to this retreat for an entire year since I missed it once last year. The choice was indeed the right one. The benefits I reaped from the retreat will be one that is going to last me for a lifetime or perhaps several lifetimes.

I finally found the meditation method that I had the greatest affinity to. I learnt to progress from the natural state of mind to the metta radiation then to breath concentration and back to natural state of mind. I have always known that metta meditation is more suitable for me rather than concentration of breath. Simply because I can concentrate better and feel it..

Its rather difficult for me to state in words how and why. It has to be through experience then it will be understood. Just like I can describe how delicious the soup is but you have to taste it before you can understand..

Through metta meditation, concentration can also be cultivated. This is because a certain level of calmness and concentration has to be there through the natural state of mind before metta can be radiated out.. It maybe a bit technical for my dear friends who are reading on meditation for the 1st time. .

Honestly, meditation is good for the mind. It is like giving a massge and body scrub to clean the dirt off. Do try it if you are interested!

I told myself this time round, I will be consistent in my practise because I have found it.. I must continue and perserve on..

Well, thats all for the tiny glimpse of my spiritual side..

My mantra shall be as such..

"May everyone be well and happy.."
"May everyone be free from anger and enmity, be free from suffering, fear, worries and anxiety.."
"May everyone dwell in peace and harmony.."

Direction in life..

In life, it goes up and down like a roller coaster ride.. Sometimes there are excitments sometimes there are none..

In work, somtimes its packed sometimes its quite relaxing.. I'm in the period of being packed again.. I have a couple of things that I have to settle as fast as possible before I leave for Camp Ehipassiko..

Though its only an internship but it feels like I am already working there for years.. Geez.. I have an old mind..

More or less, I know where my direction in life is. But there are times when I'm unsure about my abilities as well. For those who know, it has been my life long wish to go into social work mainly to help people. A lot of people have also told me this is not the only way to help, there are other ways..

No doubt, that is true. In fact, before I proceed to get my qualifications as a social worker, I do need to work first to earn money. Hence, from the way I see it, I can go into a few areas like events management, fund raising, volunteer management and social services sector..

Obviously, the above has nothing to do with the real estate area which I'm pursuing right now. But it doesn't matter. I rather do a job with lower pay but with passion and interest rather than a high paying job with no interest.

Well, afterall as a gal, I always have the backup plan of finding a good guy that can pay for my expenses... ~kidding!! Geez...How can you believe that I will do such a thing?

I have my own life and of course own freedom.. hence, I will never go to such extent of being a parasite.. I do things with a clear conscience.. If I'm with someone or doing something, its because I really want to do it sincerely...

Well, I do wish that more people have the courage to pursue in careers that they find it fulfilling..

An interview with Vampire...

I remembered watching a movie long time ago called " An interview with the vampire". Its really nice and touching.. but other details remained a blur to me..

Vampires may not really exist in the real world but only in fantasy. But who knows for sure? Sometimes, the human being is worse than the vampire..

Think about it, when reporters do interviews, sometimes they can go to extreme lengths to scoop the news jusr because it is of great news value..Of course, there are always good reporters and bad reporters..

I believe reporters, journalists should remain as partial and neutral as possible in an interview. Only then, this article is worth reading because it reflects the truth of it..

A Straits Times reporter came back to our office wanting to do interview on buddhist related topic and the events organised by Youth Ministry. Somehow, she just did an impromptu interview with me..

The vibes she gave me was rather negative.. It seems she already had her own set of thinking on Buddhism and did not really absorb my views. I felt that she was like imposing her set of opinions onto me.. I felt really uncomfortable and had to keep restating my point..

It seems she did not do enough homework on Buddhism.. She had a lot of misconceptions.. As reporter, journalist, i feel they should have an open mind..rather than interviewing people with their opinions and biased views.

Thankfully, I was the only person who felt this way... Boss felt this way too.. I'm safe because she is going to take actions before our words get distorted..

Well... as far as I'm concern... There will be no more such interviews unless I get caught in a sticky situation..