Confused

Title: Confused

I am really getting confused.. a bunch of thoughts just randomly flying over and around my head...

Why do I feel like we are getting blamed for something that we haven't actually had the chance to do it a second time?

Why do I feel like it is a big conspiracy all along? Some sort of betrayal going on?

I feel like shit now.. damn lousy...

Only one event and where is the god damn pattern.. there isn't any...
Is it because I just did not want it enough?

Or is it because the motivation ain't there?
I seriously don't have the answer now...

And I don't know when I will have the answer...
Damn confused now...

But I cannot sleep because I have all these questions floating around in my head..
Reluctant to be a leader...

Fingers pointing at me and I cannot help but feel helpless...
I do not feel disappointed but it doesn't mean I don't feel anything..

geez... emotions are such an hassle.. they come and they go as and when they like... so tough to deal with emotions..