Hard work pays off!

Before school started, me and a couple of friends began to calculate the grades that we would need to push our cap higher hopefully to the next stage.. Sigh, the grades that were tabulated were kinda hard to reach.. Nevertheless we told ourselves to push on, to aim for the sky, at least if fallen can land on the clouds..

My case study has been a pain in the ass literally.. causing me to just sit in front of computer and library to scan through numerous readings.. The good news is hard work pays off!! The professor in charge of this specialisation topic told me i covered all the readings and they would be enough for me to do my case study.. Oh boy! She was so encouraging and told me to perserve on.. If only I got her as my supervisor..

But well, my current one is quite good just that the topic I am doing is not his specialisation. But he has been helpful so far as well.. So long as I can hit his standards and be consistent, I will do fine..

Me, being an idealist always believed that hard work pays off and the fact that you reap what you sow. But sometimes in reality, its not always the case and people tend to turn bitter. Why so? Because they feel they are entitled to it. E.g. I work had in office and hence it should be my turn to get promoted. Why him?

But someday, true colours will always show. Its not that the rewards never appear. Just that the timing is not right for them to appear. The fruits of an apple tree also need time to grow after planting in the seed and watering it.

So long as we have tried our very best, putting in our hard work, its all worth it. At least we can answer to our own self and have no regrets after all..

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The lovely sunset shone upon the fields, basking it in its golden glow. The gal sitting in the wheelchair smiled feebly and turned to her companion, "isn't it lovely? I wonder how many sunsets I can look forward to seeing it?"

The companion smiled back" You will conquer the disease if you believe you can. Remember that the mind is always stronger than the body?"

"Perhaps, but what if everything has been proven wrong?"

"Well, if you never try, you will never know. No matter what happens, I will be here for you always.."

The gal smiled contently..

One week later..

In the same field, the sunset is still as lovely.. The gal was no longer in wheel chair. She was standing with her companion. She did a small dance, something she was unable to do for a long time..

" I did try and now I am freed from the disease. Finally we can be together after so long.."

In the hospital ward, the doctor and nurses were trying their last effort to rescuitate the gal.
" Its no use, she is gone.. May she rest in peace always.." The parents smiled, tears rolling down. They knew the gal would be in safe hands with her companion, her fiancee who died in a mountaineering accident 4 years back..

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Revamped Blog

Its about time that I revamped my blog, giving it a new skin, showing another facet of my personality..

When I saw this blog skin, I fell in love with it immediately.. Simply because I can relate to it.. Freedom and peace are two elements that I have been pursuing after. The wonderful thing is this skin also added in nature as part of the design..

For once, this skin felt like it was designed just for me, my voice.. My million thanks to the designer who designed this skin and also thanks to Su Teck for helping me with the alien html code..

This time round, a tag board was added to allow more interactive messages to be posted. Hmm, wonder if anyone will post anything?

Its a blog that I really treasure.. Thanks alot dear friends..

Grateful for the spiritual friendship

In life, it never hurt to be friendly to people and show them some care and concern when you feel they may need it..

I am very grateful when people appreciate the friendship that I have given them and return the same to me as well..

Imagine my delight when a spiritual friend of mine from my 1st msian camp contacted me and informed me that he is working in Singapore now..For about a year or so, we did not have any contact perhaps some forwarded emails occasionally, thats all..

It left a deep impression on me.. I could still remember back in the camp, I saw that during break time, he was sitting in front alone. So i attempted to strike up a conversation with him since we were in the same group.. That started our friendship and for the rest of camp we got to know each other better. He mentioned that he would come here to work and would catch up with me then..

I never expected that after 2 years, he really did keep his promise and caught up with me. I was touched by his gesture for it showed he was someone who treasured friendship too. It was a lovely catch up session with lots of laughter and also exchanges of Dharma experiences in between..

To me, when I gave that friendship that time, I never expected any return. Yet here it is, a friendship that is being appreciated. Its a rare opportunity to be able to continue this spiritual friendship considering that he also went for Venerable Kai Zhao's talk..

Thank you for this precious friendship, I'm sure it will last.. There will be more occasions for us to meet up and learn from each other Dharma knowledge..

A sudden moment of reflection

While I was hanging out laundry today, I came to realise how much I miss the sun during the past rainy days.. The warmth of the sun rays, the light from the sun suddenly seemed very precious in deed..

It occurred to me that I had been taking for granted that the sun would always be shining brightly in the sky especially in Singapore. Over the radio, I heard listeners calling in to moan about how their plans were ruined, their clothes left undried for days.. I admitted that I was among them as well..

Singapore located near the equator has always been a tropical country with an abundance of sunshine.. Never in my life until now, I have not seen the sun for days!

Well using the sun as an analogy, it seems that our family members are like the sun, always by our side. Hence, we often do not appreciate them enough simply with the excuse they will be there anyway..

But what if they disappear one day like the sun? No one knows what will happen in the future but only the present is known. For once, start to appreciate your love ones around you..

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The morning rays shone brightly upon the green moss in the forest.. The animals started to woke up from their hibernation..slowly one by one, the rabbits rubbed their eyes, the monkeys scratched their backs..

"Yeah! Uncle Sun is back from vacation! Once again, we can play and work like the normal! Lets have a party to celebrate the occasion." The animals cheered..

Back in the sky, Uncle Sun was having a conversation with Uncle Rain. "Hey buddy, thanks for covering me for the past few days while I was away for holiday. I never expected that the animals will miss me that much. Suddenly, I felt very loved."

Uncle Rain chuckled," You owed me one big one! You had no idea how badly you were being missed. Without you, nothing could be done properly. Poor me was being scolded by everyone and anyone! Even humans, the superior lot that they thought they were could do nothing without you! Now its my time to go on vacation! See ya around.."

Uncle Sun smiled and decided to shine his very best for Mother Nature to compensate the missing days of warmth and light.. He heard cheers, laughter and joy from everywhere of the forest.. This was truly something he had never thought of, everyone's hero overnight!

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Acknowlegements: My dad for inspiring me with the idea when he mentioned that the sun went on leave and now is back for work! =P

The light at the end of the tunnel

When there are problems, there will be solutions.. If there are no solutions, then there are no problems.. If there are no problem and you go and find problem, then you really have a problem!

I always love the above saying! Venerable Kai Zhao said this in mandarin humorously and yet its the truth.. But we are often too caught up thinking abt the problems instead of the solutions..

The problems seem to be like a whirlpool that just keep sucking the energy source of people hence there are suicide cases etc of people trying to escape from their problems..

But there will come a point when the light at the tunnel suddenly appears and all the problems seem to be no problem at all! This is when the knot has been untied and the string is once again a smooth string..

Meditation does help to untie the knot as it calms the mind down to analyse the problem and move on to searching for the solution.. Its such a wonderful feeling to see the light for the mind feels so refreshed..

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A bird spoke to a wise old tree,"As the season changes, my friends are leaving for the warmer places.. Do you think I should follow them or I should wait for them?"

The wise old tree replied," My child, follow your inner voice. Do not listen to the opinions of others even as they rush you to make a decision. You can always wait until the time is ripe to make a decision."

Enlightened, the bird chirped happily," The time will tell when it is ripe. A relationship that is over the distance must be thought over carefully. It is right that everything should be decided only when the conditions are there once again"

The winds blew, the flowers swayed, the fairies danced.. The bird had found its inner peace, the peace that was gone for eons..

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Selfish vs selfless

Finally I realise the difference between selfish and selfless.. A person is selfish because the love of self is greater than the love of others..To me, I wanted to practise selfless love to everyone starting with people around me.. But I did not understand that by own way of being selfless, I am actually being selfish..

Sigh! Sometimes its hard to make a decision due to a number of factors. One of it is due to a lack of understanding of the situation. Another is due to the reluctance to let go and reluctance to open up.. All these ultimately point to the whole idea of the existence of a self..protecting the precious self..

In essence, the self does not exist at all.. Its just a misconception that the self exists.. If the self belongs to me, then I should be able to control its thoughts, health etc. But I cannot..

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Again, the sky was drizzling.. Rain pelted upon her face mercilessly.. She could no longer distinguish the difference between the rain and the tears that were flowing down her cheeks..

"All I wanted to do was to avoid hurting people and in the end it ended up hurting people even more.. Why do I have to make a decision when I cannot make it? In the end, I am just selfish no difference from the man on the street!" She blurted out her thoughts to the scarecrow in the meadow fields nevermind that the scarecrow did not answer her..

A streak of lightning ran across the sky.. At that exact moment, she held up her hand and wished" I want all my unhappy memories to be erased.."

In the blink of an eye, the lightning striked against her silver bracelet triggering an electricity current to pass through her body reaching to the brain.. The timing of the wish made coincided with the lining of the stars which would allow a wish to come true. This was an opportunity that would appear once in a million years..

The wind blew through the fields and the scarecrow shook its head seeming to feel sorry for her.. She remained lying on the ground after the shock with a blissful look on her face..

Yes..Her wish had come true.. No more unhappy memories but no more happy memories either.. Everything had come to an end finally..
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I wished I had doubles..

Gees.. I realised my blog hasn't been bubbly like in the past.. well, the inspirations aren't there hence my apologies for the current mood of the blog..

Sometimes I wished I had doubles.. another me to attend events etc..

I totally hate it when events clash on the same day especially when both events are important to me..

Last time, it used to be either on a society vs society level.. now its on a more personal basis, society vs friendship..

I valued society and friendship equally significant yet I cannot fulfil both at the same time.. There is only one ME.. How can I supposed to attend both events on the same day same time?

Yet I know by going for one and skipping the other, I will feel unhappy.. By going for both will mean rushing here and there in cab..oh man its going to be expensive..

Obviously, my buddy did not take it too well that I am unable to attend her event totally.. Its partially my fault also since for her past events, I was absent too..Moreover this time she told me in Oct 2005..

February have so many days and yet both have to clash on the exact same day.. I cannot blame anyone also.. Well I still have a month more to decide how I should go about making the decision..

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A child sat on the swing dangling her legs as the swing went up...She wondered if anyone truly knows how she felt..

At this moment, a fairy godmother appeared saying"*@!$$"

The child with a shocked look on her face replied" erm.. I dun understand you. Aren't fairies supposed to be elegant and avoid swearing?'

Waving her wand, the fairy answered" Aiyoh! You living in stone age ah?! This is 2010 leh not 200 BC okie? Quick lah, tell me what you want, I got party to attend to one hor.. "

" Huh? fairies can go parties one? How come you do not speak perfect English like the shows? Why do u have singlish in your sentences?" The child asked..

"Oh pleaseeeeeeeeeee.....I am from Sinkapor..the small dot on the map, you know anot? Of cuz I speak Singlish lah.. Oei.. faster say ur wish lah, no time liao, no time liao..." The fairy shrieks..

The conversation continued on for another 10 minutes before the child decided finally what her wish would be.. But she had two wishes that held equal weight to her..

The fairy shaking her head in disgust"You ah... beri beri troublesome.. why cannot u just wish for toys, sweets lah??? Arghhhh!! no time liao..I go liao k.. You want to make ur wish just shout Singalish Fairy lah"

With that, the fairy disappeared.. The child murmured" another one who doesn't understand me at all again.."

With that, the child went back to swinging herself dreaming of wishes that come true..
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A story with no ending..

We always want stories with endings preferably with happy endings.. But a story with no ending is also an ending.. Life is not perfect, how many of us can have a story with a happy ending?

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An announcement sounded out loud and clear," Last call for passengers departing to Shanghai"....

The girl sitting at the corner of the pillar looked up hesitantly. She thought," Should I or shouldn't I? If today is the actual day he leaves and I still feel this way, what path should I take?"

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Suddenly had the inspiration to blog a short paragraph of a story, what will the ending be like? I do not know..

Perhaps time can tell.. Is it fear that is holding the gal back or something beyond that? Its not easy to let a person go but if its for the benefit of the person, all the more we should let go..

Staying happy and positive!

Somehow I realise that I have not been truly happy for awhile.. I guess it can be attributed to the previous semster workload and personal problems. Even though friends around me still find that I am much positive than them, but it is not the me that used to be..

Well, I aim to change for the better doing my part for the society at large, spreading happiness to one and all. Of course, all this have to be started with dear ones around me otherwise it will just be empty talk..

A friend of me always like to tease me asking me if I am still in the fight for mankind..To me, my actions are merely the tip of an iceberg..

Positive feelings and happiness can be infectious and spread from people to people.. Its the same as negative feelings as well. So, lets be happy and spread it all around us! Even a smile can work wonders!

Conquering another challenge

Its rare for me to blog twice in a row.. but well too many things to express..

31st of Dec marks another challenge for me because I was tasked with the role of stage manager for the countdown event..

Oh man.. its really exciting, fun and adrenaline pumping! Its the 1st time I am doing this with really minimal or zero experience..

But to sum it, I had a great team, with wonderful stage crew, partners.. Without them, it will have been totally impossible.. And those wonderful performers who had to listen to my instructions even though there were minimal..Everyone was co-operative and I am thankful for all that...

Nothing is stagnant in a show, minor corkups here and there only serve to make it more interesting and exciting for me for I could see how well my brain can move to adapt to the changes that's going on..

And of course, seeing lots of familiar faces, friends, volunteers... all these warm my heart greatly and this is what made me keep volunteering..

The sense of achievement and satisfaction I felt when the show ended was beyond words.. I'm thankful to people who had the confidence in me and told me that I could do it.. once again, I have grown stronger..

You will never know how it feels..

Its hard to express feelings in words.. Its even harder when the feelings that are being experienced can never be understood by people around you even when you have expressed it..

When someone leaves for one reason or another, there is a sense of loss. This loss can never be felt unless you experience it..

The key to being freed of the loss is letting go.. But do you know how hard letting go can be?

Sometimes, what I want is a listening ear not advice.. I know what I should do.. but what can I do if my heart refuses to abide by it?

Perhaps time is the only cure for it.. This path that I chose to take will be a lonely one.. Along the way, there will be passengers boarding and alighting the bus..But eventually, this bus will reach its destination..

All I have to do is hold firm to my beliefs and perserve on..